I used to be writer but I can’t be fucked with writing now cos it takes too much effort and it’s boring.
So instead what I do is I say “I’m a really good writer” and I stick it up on Facebook and MySpace and all those shitty sites and people believe me on those sites, mainly because I stick up a picture of a naked woman instead of me and people believe that I am that naked woman because they want to believe that I’m a naked woman and not me.
And in the meantime I write this email to the Isle Of The Improverished Geniuses telling them to write me a book about being a nude woman for 10p and they do it because they don’t give a shit about money and they write the book in about 2 days and it is not a work of genius but it is good enough really and everybody has a laugh about it.
And I tell all the people on Facebook and MySpace and all those shitty sites that I have written a book and that if they buy the book then I will go round to their houses and sit about in the nude for a while so they all buy the book and I sell the book for £10 and about 100 million people or something buy it because that’s how many people there are in the world that would like to believe that I could become a naked woman and sit around in their houses for a bit but I never go round to their houses but I make loads of money anyway and the people on the Isle Of The Impoverished Geniuses have a right laugh about it all and the people on Facebook and MySpace and all that shit just sit around and think I’m playing hard to get and read weird sex things into the book and I agree that I’m playing hard to get because I am a writer and therefore complex and hard to pin down in any general sense of the word.
So everybody wins in the end and I just do that over and over and over again until everybody in the world dies.
THE END.
